Relationships 2

What does likeability have to do with influence? Everything.

For instance, when was the last time you left your child with someone you didn’t like? How many times do you buy from someone you despise? When did you follow a dislikeable person’s instructions? How much do you listen to a person who pretends to be someone they aren’t?

Probably not much, if at all.

Smart business requires you to connect and network. You have the choice to align with people who can help you and people who won’t do much for you.

Surprisingly, many people in business spend way too much time with people who don’t or won’t help them. Then they wonder why things aren’t moving forward for them. They underestimate the significance and value of being around or doing business with influential people.

Every person faces confrontation. Some face it better than others.

You know what it feels like when a person gets in your face, yelling about what you did wrong. Then this person proceeds to tell you what to do next in order to correct things.

It’s awful. Unexpected. Embarrassing.

But there’s the flip side. What do you do when you’re the one needing to confront a situation? A person? A behavior?

To begin with, most people walk away from confrontation. Maybe its part of their makeup, their upbringing or the result of a confrontation gone wrong.

In the previous two issues of Influence It! Real Power For Women, you learned about the relationship between emotion and selling.

This knowledge is critical in your ability to understand human nature, emotions, and persuasion.

As the world-renowned neuroscientist Damasio showed, no decision humans make is based on rational thinking alone.

Triggers are alive and well for everyone! They are part of our memory, there to guide us and sometimes protect us.

Triggers work by way of emotions. When we are exposed to a certain stimuli, and depending on our history, we experience a rush of emotion that tells us how to react.

How does she do it? She walks into the room, and all eyes and ears are on her. Waiting, listening, watching. She is the one everyone recognizes as the leader when a team is formed. She's the first one picked by clients or customers to speak with about their multi-million dollar account. They look to her for guidance and courage.

What does that woman have that you don't? What's her secret? Presence.

Executive Presence.

Do you ever wonder whose life you’re influencing? Look around you. Who do you see? What’s going on in your environment?

Where are you having impact? Do you have the upper hand - carefully measuring and selecting what goes on in your world?

The person who takes charge of his or her environment, diminishes the unexpected outside influence and embraces the effort, energy and time it takes to make it all happen – is a person you need to pay attention to.

Women are rescuers. Often at their own expense. They rescue people at work, in their companies, even distant relatives. It happens consciously and subconsciously. We don’t even recognize our codependent behavior until it's too late.

Women assume, sometimes against their better judgment, responsibility for making sure everyone is happy or at least satisfied. For some reason, we believe it's our job to make sure all is right with the world.

Confused? Not sure if this is you?

Here are a few regular statements from a bona fide rescuer:

Women in business have business relationships with clients, colleagues, partners, employees, and vendors. Relationships are an essential part of their work, and in order to keep their businesses on an even keel, it is important to know when and how to manage the blurry line between personal and professional relationship status.